Why Grandparents Need Support and How to Support Yourself

Welcoming a new baby into the family is one of life’s great joys and also one of its biggest adjustments. There’s excitement, pride and love but often a bit of uncertainty too. As grandparents, we naturally want to be there for our children and grandchildren, to make life a little easier for them but the truth is, we also need support ourselves.

Stepping Into The Role

Grandparenting today looks very different to how it did a generation or two ago, we face new challenges and responsibilities, We’re often more involved, helping with care, juggling work, our own families and sometimes even stepping in as primary carers. It’s rewarding but it can also be a lot and having the right tools, knowledge and support around us, can make all the difference.

Let’s explore why grandparents need support and how we can help each other navigate this journey.

The Changing Role of Grandparents

Gone are the days when we simply spend a few hours with the grandchildren, spoil them and send them home. These days, many of us play an active role in helping raise the next generation - emotionally, practically and sometimes financially too.

We’re navigating a whole new landscape, trying to work out where we fit and how best to help without stepping on anyone’s toes. With all the changes in parenting advice, safety standards and social expectations, it can feel like we’re learning right alongside the new parents and we are!

Some of the most common challenges we hear from grandparents include:

• Keeping up with new information about sleep, feeding and routines

• Finding the right balance between helping and overstepping

• Managing our own time, health and energy

• Adjusting to new family dynamics and expectations

It’s completely normal to find this tricky. The important thing is recognising when we might need support and reaching out before we feel stretched too thin.

Practical Ways to Feel Confident and Connected

1. Keep learning. A lot has changed - from safe sleep advice to feeding recommendations. Staying up to date helps you feel sure of yourself, avoid misunderstandings and gives parents confidence in you too.

2. Talk early, talk often. Talk with your children and their partners about how you can help. Ask about their preferences about what what they need rather than assuming and talk openly.

3. Set and Respect boundaries. Set boundaries early, preferably before baby arrives. It’s okay to say no or take breaks when needed. Supporting new parents doesn’t mean sacrificing your own wellbeing. Balance is key.

4. Find your people. Joining grandparent groups or online communities helps you share stories and tips with others who get it. We aren’t alone.

5. Be a calm presence. New parents often just need someone who listens and doesn’t judge. Sometimes that’s the most helpful thing you can do.

By embracing these tips, we can nurture stronger family bonds and enjoy our grandparent journey more fully.

How to Be Helpful Without Overstepping

Supporting new parents is a delicate balance. We want to help, to spare them from learning the hard way but they want us to respect their choices and independence. Here are some gentle ways to offer support without overstepping:

• Ask Before Offering Advice 

Sometimes, parents just want to be heard, they don't want us to fix anything, they just want to vent. Ask if they want your input before sharing it in a gentle, carefully worded way.

• Help with Practical Tasks 

Offer practical help like cooking a meal, do the shopping or watch the baby while parents rest, instead of instructions.

• Be Patient and Flexible 

• Parenting styles can differ. Stay flexible; your way worked then, theirs might work now. Respect their decisions even if they don’t match your own experiences.

• Celebrate Their Efforts 

Acknowledge the hard work new parents are doing. Positive reinforcement improves their confidence and strengthens your relationship.

• Stay Positive 

Focus on encouragement rather than criticism. Approach situations with curiosity instead of judgement. Your warmth and support can be a great comfort.

Ultimately, being a grandparent is about relationship. The more we focus on connection, the more trust we build. Creating a nurturing environment for everyone is the main aim.

What Resources Are Available for Today's Grandparents?

In today’s fast-changing world, it’s wonderful to know that resources designed specifically to support us as grandparents are beginning to be developed alongside online resources and books.

If it’s been a while since you last handled a newborn, it’s worth doing a refresher. Workshops, online courses and support groups for grandparents are popping up everywhere, including at Ma Wisdom. They’re a great way to update your knowledge, share experiences with other grandparents and feel confident about the new world of modern parenting.

Finding training and resources that suit you, whether that be online or in-person, and of course that are evidence based, will help us feel prepared and relevant. Specialists in grandparent training do exist, so it’s worth exploring what’s on offer.

Balancing Our Needs While Supporting Others

While we focus on supporting new parents and their babies, it’s just as important to look after ourselves. Caring for a new family can be deeply rewarding, it can also drain our energy and we need to make sure our own cup stays full so we can continue to support them.

• Set healthy boundaries that work for you

• Keep up your own friendships, hobbies and routines where possible

• Prioritise self-care with regular exercise, good food and rest

• Say no when you need to, pull back if you're overwhelmed

When we look after ourselves, we model healthy habits and balance for our children and grandchildren and it enables us to be available moving forward.

Finding Support for Yourself

Connecting with others who are in the same boat reminds us that we’re not alone in figuring it all out. Finding local support groups or online communities where grandparents share advice, encouragement and challenges is an important aspect of being supported during this transition.

Reading about modern parenting and grandparenting can broaden our understanding. Seeking out these resources and asking for support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

It’s easy to forget that we’re adjusting too and sometimes we need more than just family conversations. If family dynamics or internal struggles are a little overwhelming, there are many professionals on hand to offer guidance.

Looking Ahead and Growing Together

Grandparenting isn’t just a role, it’s a relationship. It will keep evolving and so will you. It isn’t just about helping raise a child; actually, that's not our role, it’s about raising up a new family. When we stay curious, supportive and kind, we become the steady bridge between generations, the thread that keeps us all connected.

Grandparenting will ask us to listen, adapt and sometimes unlearn what we thought we knew. We don’t stop learning, there's always another opportunity for growth and if we embrace learning opportunities, we can navigate this journey with grace and confidence.

Let’s celebrate the special place we hold in our families and continue to grow alongside our children and grandchildren.