The Changing Role of Grandfathers: Part 2
In Part 1, I looked at how the role of Grandfathers has evolved in my lifetime. There was so much to say about the topic, particularly in the light of recent Australian research, that I decided to explore it as a 3 part series. This is the second in the series. If you missed the first instalment, click this link.
In that first instalment, we looked at how the changing role of grandfathers was manifesting in their interactions with their grandchildren and what the research had identified regarding these changes.
In this instalment, we'll look at some of the changes I've noticed. One of the biggest impetus for change is family breakdown between grandparents. These relationship breakdowns can be tricky to deal with for all of the family and a study investigating the effects on the ties between grandparents and grandchildren shows the negative effects were stronger for grandfathers and they are absent or distanced from their grandchildren1 as a result. In some instances family breakdown can add two additional sets of grandparents which can not only lead to tension but additional logistical consderations that can inadvertantly lead to family discord or avoidance in order to evade the issue.
My parents are divorced with my father moving further afield. Unlike my grandmother, my Mum was working when her grandsons were born but did after-school-care pickup, dinner and bathtime several days a week and continued my grandfathers legacy with every Saturday spent with a new generation at the sports club.
In the past 10 years at the club I have seen a noticable difference in grandfathers. Now they 're walking around with toddlers hanging from their index fingers, chasing butterflies, poking crickets and colouring in on picnic rugs while the parents compete. When I was a child, we were back at the club being looked after by the grandmothers.
I've also seen a shift that's arisen in multicultural families. I see many grandparents of Asian heritage in our area with young grandchildren every day. Even grandfathers on their own, pushing prams, feeding toddlers in strollers, playing in the park and doing school pickup and after school activities. It's a lovely sight and I imagine the parents are both out working and grandpa has stepped into the breach.
I’ve had South American doula clients whose parents expected to look after the grandchildren because it’s in their culture, re-arranging their work lives to do so, sometimes before even asking the parents. I see grandfathers from Mediterranean backgrounds taking on more active roles with their grandchildren at a younger age that perhaps only grandmothers would have performed in previous generations. It’s another example of how the role of grandparents is changing across generations and cultures and as the research project Grandparenting In Australia: A History states, “grandparents are vital to children learning culture2.
In Australian indigenous communities, all elders contribute to children learning culture. Their kinship systems extend beyond the biological definitions we use in the West. The practice, as I understand it, is based on the concept that all elders are grandparents and all children are your children. It’s more like a classification than a title, with all those of the same generation called grandparents. It’s the quintessential village in structure as well as task.
Cathy, an Aboriginal mother, explained to me: "In Western culture, family is like a tree with narrow branches based only on DNA. In Indigenous culture, family is like a web or a net. Anyone in your grandparents' generation has the same responsibility to teach, protect and love you as your biological grandparents do. Therefore, they are given the same title, out of respect."
Kinship care is common in indigenous communities not only as it’s part of their societal makeup. Even outside of indigenous communities, there are a growing number of grandparents raising their grandchildren. Navigating a kinship care arrangement completely reshapes the standard grandparent-grandchild dynamic. For grandfathers, this transition can be especially jarring.
Lived reality is clear and research data corroborates that in the past, grandfathers have often leant heavily into interactive play. Dr Oz (from American TV fame) reminds us that their engagement and storytelling also acts as direct "brain builders" for a child's language and vocabulary development6.1. "While parents provide foundational daily routines, grandparents bring a distinct conversational style, time, and emotional context that stimulates unique neural pathways in the developing brain6.2.
Grandparents often have more time to sit with grandchildren and read or count or do other activities that parents, who are trying to get the dinner on, fold the laundry and make school lunches, all while working longer hours and commuting further than previous generations, do not.
"I enjoy it very much and they are always pleased to have me care for them. It's a wonderful time watching them grow up and learn things".
Grandfather, aged 66 7
Can you identify with any of the statistics below?
In 2025, around 75% of Australian grandparents were providing childcare of some sort2.
Of those:
64% did so while the parents worked or studied
96% said they enjoyed spending time with their grandchildren
71% were helping their children financially by reducing childcare costs
28% felt they could not say no when asked
44% reported caring for grandchildren as tiring but enjoyable and those doing longer hours found it difficult to manage alongside other responsibilities
Many Australian grandparents are not providing childcare but would like to. Recent research shows the biggest reasons are the following7:
67% distance
30% breakdown in the family relationship
13% children have other care
11% own or others health
5% work commitments
"Spending time with the grandkids [is] a practice invaluable for health and wellbeing as the risk of poor ageing outcomes is known to rise in the absence of strong family ties – but we are spending that time in a different context thanks to the dramatic social and economic change that has shaped Australian families over 30 years8".
FMD Financial’s Retirement Planning8, indicates the changing role of grandparents is having an affect on retirement choices. "Couples are...starting a family later in life, once their career is established. Commonly, both parents continue to juggle parenting and significant work hours. As a result, in 2017, 22.7% of Aussie children - more than one million kids - [were] cared for by their grandparents on a weekly basis”8.1. This figure will have increased as almost a decade later, 39% of grandparents are now caring for their grandchildren under 13yrs old on a regular basis7.
A large challenge for many parents is securing a spot in the grandparent’s busy calendar. They may be competing with paid employment, an enviable social life, retirement and grey nomad holidays or other plans. Studies have shown, however, that “whether grandparents worked or not made no difference to whether they provided childcare”, just to the amount they could provide.7
As you can see, there’s a lot of moving parts to the changing roles of grandfathers. If grandfathers are increasingly being asked to participate in ways their own fathers and they didn't, perhaps they need support too.
As the role of grandparents continues to change, so too does the knowledge and confidence they need to step into it. For grandfathers who may be learning some of these practical skills for the first time, a little preparation can make a big difference. Courses like our Baby Care and Support in the Early Weeks is designed to help grandparents feel more confident supporting a new family, that can only be a positive step.
In the final instalment of this 3 part series, I'll look at the changing role of grandfathers in Australian farming communities.
2Grandparenting in Australia: a History. (1945–2025) Ricatti, F., Evans, T., Dellios, A., Allen, L., & Nguyen, N. (2025–2028). Grandparenting in Australia: a history (1945-2025) [Research project]. The Australian National University and Macquarie University. https://researchportalplus.anu.edu.au/en/projects/grandparenting-in-australia-a-history-1945-2025/
6.1 Dr Oz official video “One of my favorite roles is Grandpa - and studies show that having grandparents involved with kids helps their development in many ways”. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=892335470597364
6.2 INTERGENERATIONAL DYNAMICS IN LANGUAGE AND LITERACY: THE INFLUENCE OF GRANDPARENT AND PARENT-CHILD INTERACTIONS ON EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT: - International Journal of Education, Psychology and Counseling
7 Baxter, J. (2022). Grandparents & child care. (Families in Australia Survey snapshot). Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies https://aifs.gov.au/all-research/research-snapshots/grandparents-and-child-care
8 The Changing Role of Australian Grandparents: Retirement Planning. https://www.fmd.com.au/insights/the-changing-role-of-australian-grandparents/
8.1 ABS Childhood Education and Care, Australia, June 2017
